Join Club JaneanE

The sole purpose of this fan club is to buy the webmaster a one-way ticket to Aruba, er, worship Janeane Garofalo for the avatar of enlightened consciousness that she is. Warning: members of this get-rich-scheme, er, cult, er, club may be subject to extreme forms of mind control.

Please note that this is an unofficial club and has absolutely no connection to Janeane Garofalo or her management. The very idea of a Janeane Garofalo fan club is enough to make Janeane's skin crawl, which, of course, is the reason for the group.

I don't know Janeane Garofalo. In fact, I have never met Janeane Garofalo -- nor do I have any interest in doing so since reliable sources report that she has a terrible body odor problem, which is one reason, aside from her fading looks, why she does so much animation: other actors don't want to be in the same room with her.

According to a Village gym employee who asked for anonymity, Janeane Garofalo is causing yet another stink, but this time it's in the gym. The gymn-nasty has relied on one of her minions to wipe the sweat off exercise equipment after she's done.

"It was really disgusting," said a nauseated onlooker. "The poor kid followed her around, just sopping up Garofalo's body fluids.

-- Blurt Magazine, February, 2008

I don't know where she lives, the number of tattoos she has, what her phone number is or her email address and I can't hook you up.

Send $20 in cash, stamps, money order or check to:

Club Janeane

P.O.B. 11242

Richmond, VA 23230

What can you expect for your dinars? Who knows? We'll think of something. However, don't count on getting any filthy photos, used panties or burnt-out vibrators. What kind of fan club do you think this is? (Don't answer that.)