Janeane Garofalo at the "Ratatouille" premiere in Hollywood on June 22, 2007

My patients often comment on how much it costs to remove a tattoo compared to how much it costs to have one put on. I tell them that they've stumbled onto one of the truths of the universe: If you take the cost of obtaining a tattoo compared to the cost of removing it, it's almost exactly the same as the cost of a marriage license compared to the cost of a divorce. So I tell them the take-home message is: Think real hard before you get a tattoo or get married.
-- Dr. Ross Van Antwerp, The Washington Post, 10-05-05.

Given that Janeane Garofalo got married in a drunken stupor in Las Vegas a la Britney Spears, we're not holding our breath when it comes to Janeane thinking real hard about getting another tattoo.

-- Amelia Raitt, eMusic.com

Listen to a cut from Davidoff's "The Point Is": "Israel, Bus Stop and a 2-Ply."

Buy the Comedy Central album at eMusic

Short stuff

Funny Jokes from Beautiful Women (As told by some of the WOMEN WE LOVE.)

On the chest of a barmaid at Yale

Were tattooed the prices of ale.

And on her behind, for the sake of the blind,

Was the same information in Braille.

-- as told by Alexa Davalos in Esquire 

It must be true... I read it in the tabloids 

An orangutan at a Dutch zoo is refusing to mate with his own species, apparently preferring human females. Sibu, 31, was brought to the Apenheul Primate Park last year for breeding purposes, but has shown little interest in famle orangutans. "He chases them or ignores them, but he doesn't do what he's supposed to do," says a zookeeper. Sibu does, however, become aroused around female zookeepers, particularly if they're blond and /or tattooed, as was his previous keeper.

-- The Week, October 19, 2007 

Looksism not a social injustice 

Ford also challenges the slippery ways that aggrieved individuals (including the obese, people with tattoos and piercings, and white critics of affirmative action) have created a politics and jurisprudence of prejudice analogous to racism. "Fat is not the new black," Ford argues, dismantling arguments that when airlines require overweight passengers to pay for two seats or gymnasiums decline to hire a person of size to run an exercise class, it is the equivalent of systematic Jim Crow. "Weightism and looksism aren't problems of social order or of social injustice," as were laws that excluded blacks as a group from the full prerogatives of citizenship.

 -- The Nation, May 12, 2008

Celebrity Skin: Tattoos, Brands, and Body Adornments of the Stars (Paperback)

by Jim Gerard

What did Johnny Depp do with his "Winona Forever" tattoo after she dumped him? What is the ritual surrounding the Dixie Chicks and the little birdies on their feet? How many times does Angelina Jolie have "Billy Bob" tattooed on her body and where?

Celebrity Skin has the answers and much more in this ultimate photo collection of the tattoos and body art of celebrities—from Drew Barrymore, and Sean Connery to Dennis Rodman, the Backstreet Boys, and Eminem. With over 100 pages of full-color photographs, Celebrity Skin gets the inside story (and inside look) at the beauty marks of the beautiful people.

Tattoo you

While Obama was campaigning in Oregon this week, a local reporter asked him: “If you had a tattoo, what would it be and where would you put it?”

Obama replied that if he were forced to get a tattoo, “I suppose I’d have to have Michelle’s name tattooed somewhere very discreet.”

-- Roger Simon, Politico