Hollywood used to have a tradition of wiggy-sexy comediennes -- motormouth funny ladies, like Myrna Loy or Carole Lombard, who tossed off lines with such whip-smart exuberance that it gave them a special, modern romantic appeal. Janeane Garofalo is a delightful throwback to that tradition. Thus far, she has been best known as a gifted wiseacre (The Larry Sanders Show, Reality Bites). But in the winsome comedy THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS & DOGS (Twentieth Century Fox, PG-13), she comes into her own as a romantic star. She still has her flirtatious, rather caustic wit, but now, for the first time, we see the yearning behind it.

Garofalo plays Abby Barnes, a woman too neurotically hung up on her ''imperfection'' to have any idea how appealing she is. Abby, a veterinarian, hosts a Los Angeles talk-radio show in which she offers smart-aleck advice to beleaguered animal owners. Your pooch has a cold? Your cat won't stop licking you? Abby comes to the rescue. Pets she understands; it's those other animals -- men -- who elude her. Despite her professional success, Abby is haunted by the fact that she'll never be the kind of woman who can turn heads. The gods have denied her gorgeousness, and in a city like L.A., where specimens of unearthly beauty dot every street corner (and men fall off bicycles to gawk at them), her short-girl ordinariness strikes her as a genetic curse.

Actually, Janeane Garofalo is pretty adorable; her heart-shaped grin is a luscious explosion of dimples and teeth, and her eyes are so big and dark and soulful they practically caress you. Still, she's not a runway model -- she's pretty in a pie-faced, girl-next-door way -- and that makes her ideal for the role of a woman whose lack of attractiveness ultimately lies inside her own head. Abby wears her hair in an unflattering Kathy Bates 'do, and she's so aware that other women may make a more stunning first impression that she never gives herself a chance to make a second one. Her real calling card is her teasing sensuality, the very quality she's too shy to run with.

Then she meets Brian (Ben Chaplin), a tender-souled Brit who calls up her radio show when the Great Dane he's supposed to be photographing finds its way onto a set of roller skates. Abby solves that problem -- she's not just a pet doctor, she's a pet psychiatrist -- and Ben, smitten, asks her out over the phone. But Abby is scared of blowing it, and so she recruits her neighbor, Noelle (Uma Thurman), to impersonate her. Tall, skinny, and blond, with the face of a Nordic princess, Noelle, a struggling model, is the kind of woman Abby thinks she'd like to be. At the same time, she's a scatterbrained flake who has to read women's-magazine columns to figure out that her abusive cad of a boyfriend is a ''loser.'' ''Abby'' (that is, Noelle) soon has Brian swooning -- though he can't figure out why she's so much less vibrant in person than she is on the phone, or why her voice sounds so different. Meanwhile, Abby is passing herself off as ''Donna,'' Noelle's best friend, whom Brian finds mysteriously captivating to talk to.

The director, Michael Lehmann, a former specialist in prankish nihilism (Heathers, Hudson Hawk), has developed a new, soft touch that brings out the gentlest undercurrents of romantic comedy. Visually, The Truth About Cats & Dogs is all rich, buttery light -- it's as if everyone were being photographed under a perfect midday sun. The fun of the movie lies in the way Abby and Noelle drive themselves crazy trying to sustain the illusion that Abby's personality is ''inside'' Noelle's body. Abby suffers the anxiety of not having enough beauty; Noelle, the anxiety of having too much. Their hoax is like a double scoop of neurosis.

The Truth About Cats & Dogs is very funny around the edges (in the talk-radio scenes, Garofalo hits hilarious notes of mock exasperation), but as the characters begin to hang out together, forming a platonic menage a trois, the mistaken-identity ruse never escalates into true screwball lunacy; it's more like Cyrano de Bergerac by way of Friends. The reason, I think, is that Brian's elemental confusion over who the two women are is kept too mild and straight.

Ben Chaplin, an English actor new to American movies, has a serenely virile gaze and charisma to spare, yet the picture would have been zestier had he been allowed a bit of Cary Grant befuddlement to match up with the women's mad-scramble manipulations. You feel that Lehrmann has too much affection for the people on screen to let them seem like dupes. Then again, that's part of the movie's charm. At one point, Noelle asks Abby, ''Did you ever look into a mirror so long that your face didn't make sense anymore?'' Lehrmann lingers so lovingly on the faces of his actors that they finally do make sense. And staring into them, you may catch a glimpse of your own reflection.

B+

What Parents Should Know
While the pet antics make this movie seem like a great preteen pick, parents should note that Abby plays a liberated woman who discusses sexual matters frankly. Her telephone relationship with Brian culminates in a prolonged bathtub phone-sex scene.

Common Sense Media Review
From the outset, this whimsical comedy isn't entirely plausible. Although Jeanine Garofalo is a short brunette, she's a lot cuter than the movie would have you believe. And while Uma Thurman is tall and beautiful, why does that mean she can't read Sartre without a dictionary? On top of which, Brian the Brit seems like a pretty sharp customer, so how is it that he can't recognize Abby's voice outside of the radio station?

Despite these flaws in logic, CATS AND DOGS is funny and intelligent in ways that many romantic comedies aren't these days. After all, Abby's witty cynicism isn't entirely misguided. Beautiful "Hollywood" women do generally get more attention than the average veterinarian. Two scenes make this point hilariously clear, one involving a bicycle and the other a bee. And the plot contrivance that requires that Noel take on Abby's professional duties produces some pretty funny results. Not to be missed is the scene in which she has to encourage a wheezy turtle to emerge from its shell.

While the pet antics make this movie seem like a great preteen pick, parents should note that Abby plays a liberated woman who discusses sexual matters frankly. Her telephone relationship with Brian culminates in a prolonged bathtub phone-sex scene.

For a mature audience, however, this is a movie that's perfectly cast and nicely executed. Most everyone will cheer at the inevitable happy ending. Those yearning for more of the same should check out Steve Martin's hilarious Roxanne, which, like CATS AND DOGS, updates the familiar Cyrano de Bergerac story.

Common Sense Media is a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing information to help parents make media and entertainment choices for their families.

Let's Do Some Carnage: 

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Abby Barnes is the host of The Truth About Cats & Dogs, a radio call-in show that deals with pet care. On the air Abby is a sharp, charming presence, but off the air she's a mass of insecurities and paranoia. When a caller, Brian, asks her out on date, she chickens out and sends her neighbour, model Noelle, in her place. Brian falls for Abby's phone voice charm and intelligence, while believing Noelle is that very woman. With a romance developing between Brian and Noelle, Abby finds herself on the side lines, watching the man she's growing to love be with the woman pretending to be her.

JANEANE'S CHARACTER:

Quite simply, Janeane's character IS the film. She's on screen for most of the movie, and the other characters revolve around her. Abby is a wonderful role for Janeane, seemingly written with her in mind. Despite her self-conscious nature, Abby is a very strong role, witty, intelligent and compassionate. Janeane brings so much to the role, it's impossible to imagine anyone playing the part but her. By the end of the movie, audiences can't help but be won over by Abby, even if they didn't like the rest of the movie. She's irresistible. She also received an MTV Movie Awards nomination for Best Comedic Performance. However, she lost to her Cable Guy co-star, Jim Carrey.

MY REVIEW:

**1/2

This is probably Janeane's most famous starring vehicle, and on those terms it really does hit the nail on the head. Previously, her performances had been less appealing (if very funny) and edgier. Here she takes the mantle of leading lady, and the surprise success of the film had her being hailed as the new Sandra Bullock. Of course, Garofalo kept appearing in smaller films and staying just outside the mainstream, which is an admirable thing in itself.

The Truth About Cats & Dogs another basic rehash of the classic Cyrano de Bergerac, and as a low expectations romantic comedy, it does work. However, it also gives a rather sad scenario and a leading character who, although totally charming, is a less than emotionally stable.

The story revolves around the idea that Abby is unattractive, or at least in her own eyes. Several times through the movie, especially in the early scenes, we see Abby being ignored or put down, apparently because of her looks. There's a funny, if unbelievable, moment in which she gets into an elevator, full of tall, good looking young people. The problem is accepting  her as an attractive, inconsequential person when it's blatantly obvious that she IS a very good looking woman. That's not just my biased view either...everyone came out of this movie with that opinion. If anything, she is short, but that's not exactly a reason to throw a bag over your head. 

In addition, the Abby character doesn't actually do anything to do empower herself and gain self esteem, which would have been the logical development for the character. Noelle and Abby's scheme is foiled by accident when Brian stumbles into the truth, instead of either ladies revealing it. For that matter, the stupidity of Brian is another tough to swallow aspect of the script. After spending two minutes in the presence of Noelle, it should occur to anyone with a half brain that she is not the same person he had been talking to over the phone. Romantic comedies are never running on brain-cells, and this is certainly no exception. 

That said, the film is entertaining, and often quite funny. There's a nice assortment of one liners (fired off by Janeane, naturally), and some cute work by Brian's rollerskating dog. The performances of Thurman and relative newcomer Chaplin are very nice. Thurman, who was so great in "Pulp Fiction" and rather cold in a few other projects, seems to have no trouble in playing a character who's good hearted yet empty headed. Some leading ladies might not have taken such a role.

Chaplin, who's since proven himself to be a damn fine drama actor in The Thin Red Line among others, is a warm and endearing leading man...even if I bit overly dense to be believed. The supporting cast features a number of appearances (or vocal appearances) by some of Janeane's comedic comrades and co-stars. Director Lehnmann (who directed Janeane on The Larry Sanders Show), although obviously away from the more outrageous material of his earlier works, "Heathers" and "Meet The Applegates," handles things well enough, if a little uninspired.

There's one sequence that is a unexpected for a PG-13 feature...a surprisingly tender phone sex/masturbation scene between Abby and Brian.

The Truth About Cats & Dogs ultimately doesn't hold up as well I remember because of the contrivances, but as a star vehicle for the breaking-out Garofalo, it fits the bill nicely.